Compassion is Compassion

When we started the 365 Days of Compassion Challenge I thought that it might be difficult to find an opportunity for compassion each and every day. Now, almost three weeks into the challenge, I've been relieved to find that some days unexpected opportunities just seem to present themselves, as if the universe was encouraging me along, but other days it takes considerable effort and thought to figure out what to do next. It's lead me to wonder what even qualifies as an act of compassion; does it require something as involved as volunteering at a homeless shelter, or could it be simply smiling at a stranger on the bus?

On one particular day when I felt that I had not done enough, I shared this concern with a co-worker and he told me, "Compassion is compassion. It doesn't need to be groundbreaking, it doesn't need to be world-moving, but if you connect with just one person, in some small way, to make their day a little bit better, than you've succeeded."

His words brought me back to Day 6 of the 365compassion twitter campaign, when my contribution involved a homeless woman I had passed on the street during an especially cold and rainy night in San Francisco. This particular woman had caught my eye because she was using her shoe for a pillow and consequently one of her feet was bare to the elements. I thought, here it is, this is a sign, this is my opportunity to really make a difference. I'm going to buy her some socks.

It was a particularly cold and rainy night

Spying a Walgreen's across the street, I realized upon entering that I could also buy a fleece blanket and a pair of gloves, all for less than $10. This was better than I expected and upon leaving the store and re-entering the cold, I just knew she was going to be excited and I was excited too, excited to be making a difference.

Instead, upon returning and showing her the things I had brought she started crying and wailing incoherently. I wanted her to put the gloves on, to put the socks on, to tuck herself warmly under the blanket, but she did none of these things. She just kept wailing and wailing inconsolably. My girlfriend who had been with me, sensed that I was stunned and took the blanket out of my hands, unrolled it, and draped it over the woman, covering her foot. Whatever problems this woman had, a cold foot was only the tip of the iceberg.

As we were walking away, I shared with my girlfriend that I didn't feel like we had made a difference and that I actually felt worse than I had before. The woman was clearly still miserable and now that we had gotten personally involved, had established a connection with this person, I felt miserable as well. She responded that even if we had not fixed all of this woman's problems, and could not fix all of her problems, the woman was certainly better off now than she was before and I should take solace in that.

I think the lesson for me here is that opportunities to show compassion can be so subtle that we may not even think they're there at all, or on a scale so large that we may feel unable to make a difference, but that we must be willing to show compassion no matter what affect that we think it may or may not have. "Compassion is compassion" and any thing that we can do, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction.

With all the people in San Francisco, I doubt I'll ever see that particular woman again, but meeting her has left its mark and I won't forget her.

-Matt