Fighting Cancer with Compassion

The summer of 2009 changed my life, my perspective, and my whole approach to living it. On June 6th my girlfriend was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. It came to me as quite a shock since she's a non-smoker, she's a competitive student-athlete, and she was and is only 21 years-old. Ever since that day I've tried to be a foundation for her to lean on, build upon and even break down on, and since that summer I've filled the role of all three, providing some sense of stability through the highs and the lows of this fight. Thankfully she's made amazing progress on her recovery to full health, bravely enduring a staggering 13 rounds (and counting) of chemotherapy.

The bad news is that my girlfriend is still battling lung cancer, the good news is that she's recovering, and through this battle we've discovered the Bonnie J. Addario Lung Cancer Foundation, which has been a tremendous source of information, encouragement and support to us. A world-class facility for research, as well as support, they expect to make significant contributions towards ending lung cancer in our lifetime through their experience, commitment, and a rigorous, yet balanced approach to research. Recognizing the equal importance of early detection and treatment options, the foundation and its researchers pour an equally endless amount of energy into making early detection and screening accessible to all.

The foundation is also active in helping individuals organize walks and runs throughout the country and world to spread awareness, to educate, and to raise funds to fight this devastating disease. Last week my girlfriend, myself, and our close friends and family organized one such event in Berkeley, that helped us raise over $40,000.

Jill and I kicking off Jog for Jill, February 7, 2010

The final takeaway I want to leave you with, is that difficult times can catch you when you least expect them. In my girlfriend's case, it's a life-threatening illness that no-one, least of all herself, would ever have thought she would have to fight. I'm afraid that there will come a time in everyone's lives when they will be hit with something difficult, almost impossible and out of nowhere, but I hope this story will, in some small way, help you realize that people aren't alone and that no matter how rare or threatening a situation may be, there will always be others who will help see you through it.

I feel lucky that I could be one of those people for my girlfriend, and although these are terrible experiences for anyone to have to deal with, I know that when the time comes, you will have the compassion, love, and support to be that for someone you love.

-Bryce

Volunteering with Girls on the Run

2009 was a hard year for many people. I struggled to get my life settled while in a blur of unemployment and missed out on a lot of my usual volunteer opportunities. Although I only volunteered with Girls on the Run for a brief time, I never miss a chance to spread the word about this amazing organization. Girls on the Run was started by a four-time Hawaii Ironman Triathlete, Molly Barker, to educate and empower young girls in self-respect and healthy living. Ideally, this organization hopes to prevent young girls from entering into risky behavior and works to “encourage positive emotional, social, mental, spiritual and physical development.”

I volunteered at one of the regularly scheduled Lollipop Runs in San Francisco. I met with my young running partner at about 9:15 in the morning and joined in on the group stretching. She had been training with other volunteers throughout the past couple months to get in shape for the 5k race and was excited to start running! When the gun went off we got moving. We were able to complete the whole race with only a few pauses for water and shoe tying. As we crossed the finish line, the young girl’s face lit up. She had never run this far and claimed to think she never had thought it was possible. She accomplished a goal, and realized that there was a world of possibilities in her life, that 28 minutes earlier had seemed to only hold few opportunities. I will never forget her excitement after finishing her first race.

The next Lollipop run is May 8, 2010. I will be there. Will you join me?

- Quincey

Compassion is Compassion

When we started the 365 Days of Compassion Challenge I thought that it might be difficult to find an opportunity for compassion each and every day. Now, almost three weeks into the challenge, I've been relieved to find that some days unexpected opportunities just seem to present themselves, as if the universe was encouraging me along, but other days it takes considerable effort and thought to figure out what to do next. It's lead me to wonder what even qualifies as an act of compassion; does it require something as involved as volunteering at a homeless shelter, or could it be simply smiling at a stranger on the bus?

On one particular day when I felt that I had not done enough, I shared this concern with a co-worker and he told me, "Compassion is compassion. It doesn't need to be groundbreaking, it doesn't need to be world-moving, but if you connect with just one person, in some small way, to make their day a little bit better, than you've succeeded."

His words brought me back to Day 6 of the 365compassion twitter campaign, when my contribution involved a homeless woman I had passed on the street during an especially cold and rainy night in San Francisco. This particular woman had caught my eye because she was using her shoe for a pillow and consequently one of her feet was bare to the elements. I thought, here it is, this is a sign, this is my opportunity to really make a difference. I'm going to buy her some socks.

It was a particularly cold and rainy night

Spying a Walgreen's across the street, I realized upon entering that I could also buy a fleece blanket and a pair of gloves, all for less than $10. This was better than I expected and upon leaving the store and re-entering the cold, I just knew she was going to be excited and I was excited too, excited to be making a difference.

Instead, upon returning and showing her the things I had brought she started crying and wailing incoherently. I wanted her to put the gloves on, to put the socks on, to tuck herself warmly under the blanket, but she did none of these things. She just kept wailing and wailing inconsolably. My girlfriend who had been with me, sensed that I was stunned and took the blanket out of my hands, unrolled it, and draped it over the woman, covering her foot. Whatever problems this woman had, a cold foot was only the tip of the iceberg.

As we were walking away, I shared with my girlfriend that I didn't feel like we had made a difference and that I actually felt worse than I had before. The woman was clearly still miserable and now that we had gotten personally involved, had established a connection with this person, I felt miserable as well. She responded that even if we had not fixed all of this woman's problems, and could not fix all of her problems, the woman was certainly better off now than she was before and I should take solace in that.

I think the lesson for me here is that opportunities to show compassion can be so subtle that we may not even think they're there at all, or on a scale so large that we may feel unable to make a difference, but that we must be willing to show compassion no matter what affect that we think it may or may not have. "Compassion is compassion" and any thing that we can do, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction.

With all the people in San Francisco, I doubt I'll ever see that particular woman again, but meeting her has left its mark and I won't forget her.

-Matt